Some horrifying quotations, found easily and chosen at random from the internet:

“If you do 100 calories’ worth of exercise every day, how much weight would you lose in a year?”

“Skip one meal a day and you’re cutting out a third of your intake - well on the way to that perfect size 8. It just makes sense.”

“What is your BMI? Is it the same as your body fat ratio? If mine is low, does that mean I’m slim?”

We’re reducing our bodies to equations of value. A thing to be seen, weighed, measured for perfection. Beauty is a ratio, the ideal is a golden mean of proportion and aesthetic calculation. A woman’s body has become an item of beauty, art and sexuality – but only if the maths adds up. If it doesn’t, you don’t have a true woman’s body.

My body is not a calculation! My body is for doing, feeling and experiencing. My body is beautiful because of what it expresses and what it achieves. My body is my body, not your body, not his body, not theirs. It connects me with the world, it allows me to communicate, feel and exist. My body is me. Don’t you dare reduce me to an equation – I won’t let you. I am a complex, unique, self-directed being, not a thing. I don’t just appear, I act and react. I am a woman, and I decide what that means for me.

I am fed up of being told that "real women have curves". I have a slim body with strong shoulders and narrow hips. I also happen to be a real woman!

Yesterday the UK’s Press, TV and radio went into a frenzy reporting the first paper in The Lancet Obesity Series describing the global initiators of the obesity epidemic according to a study by Professor Boyd Swinburn and Dr Gary Sacks from the World Health Organisation Collaborating
Centre for Obesity at Deakin University in Melbourne, Australia.

Professor Boyd Swinburn is the Chair of the International Obesity Task Force and Dr Gary Sacks is also a member.

The International Obesity Task Force plays a key role in determining policy for the World Health Organization. The International Obesity Task force is funded by the pharmaceuticals industry – part of the global weight loss industry said to be worth US$586.3 Billion by 2014.

I wonder if this study that has had everyone in a fat hatred frenzy today is biased? Hmmm.

Hello everybody,

I am fighting an eating disorder. My female psychoterapist told me that both male and female psychotherapists would be equally good for me. And reason for this? She said I could get easily disappointed with a feminist female psychotherapist. Well, that might well be true. However, I am afraid that I could not get more disappointed with a feminist female psychotherapist than I have gotten with someone who seems to have a hard time to understand how oppression feels, how much of oppressive power can come from men, how much of oppressive power come from men on everyday basis, how easily can a male psychotherapist take an advantage of this power, what can be the power of sisterhood and most importantly that feminism is NOT an ideology. It is part of my identity - this is who I am! This is who we are, who we have chosen to become to cope with the oppression we feel, see and experience every day.

So what I want to say?

Dear Susie Orbach, THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR ALL THE WORK YOU HAVE DONE FOR ALL OF US - for those fighting an eating disorder. It happens that I disagree with you sometimes or that I could get disappointed with you had I known you more. I nonetheless feel that you understand very well of what it mean to be a woman in a patriarchal world. It is you, through your books, who is helping me to get through all this.

I absolutely hate the way that these days women are treated as if they're good for nothing but their body. It's incredibly sad that sexuality is valued over intelligence and personality and that prostitutes and strippers make more money than people who have worked hard without use of solely their physical appearance. I recently got into a debate with a guy over going to strip clubs for a bachelor party. I think if "one last night of fun" is needed then you aren't ready to be married. After stating this, a guy that I went to high school with brought up how strip clubs are great because it helps a woman to feel dominant and confident in herself and most women feel much better about herself when she's being stared at in a sexual way. I think that is ignorant and repulsive because a woman shouldn't have to get her confidence from being ogled. This teaches us that our bodies are all that we're good and desired for. This guy then told me that I was simply jealous of strippers because of the attention that they get. I am actually incredibly confident in myself and respect myself and feel no need to show off my body to anyone just for the attention. I would hate for that to be the only thing I'm valued for. And past that, as much as I love my boyfriend, I despise the fact that he watches porn. He claims it has nothing to do with me but I can't help but feel insulted by the fact that he feels the need to look at other naked girls when he has me. It bothers me even more that no matter how many times I tell him that it makes me feel bad about myself, it doesn't affect him at all and he doesn't understand my dislike for it. I just hate the way that the world has gone when sexuality is held so much higher than basically anything else. I believe it to be a big reason why children are growing up so wrong, so many people have body image issues, and relationships can't seem to last. But despite my detest for my boyfriend watching porn, I do appreciate the fact that he never fails to compliment me for my appearance AND my personality. If more men were like him, the three problems just named would be helped so much.

I have written a play with a working title BigM!. Its about Power, Size. Race Gender.....little vignettes , Its about one womans journey toward self acceptance within a society that is trying to categorize her and keep her down. There is a dominant theme on the subject of body image and dymsmorphia.. I am writing here because I was horrified to find that many women in my test audience felt that I was too slim, too strong, too fit to be telling these stories. They found " no point of contact" because it seemed ridiculous that someone who looks like me would have the nerve to feel any sort of self loathing at all. These are highly educated women who teach Womens Studies at some local prestigious universities. Have they not heard of dysmorphia. Are they unaware that a woman can be beautiful and slim and still full of self loathing , confused about her own gender expression and orientation, have a horrible body image and even be anorexic and bulemic? How can they call themselves educated and still be so incredibly naive to think that a womans outside matches her insides?????. I don't get it. Yes I'm told I deliver a powerful show, but I just look to good to be taken seriously. Don't they get it????? Thats the whole point!!!! Thats the essesnce of this incredible cultural dis-ease that makes women in to the walking wounded.

Here's a link to my You Tube Channel. i just started uploading poems and such. One in particular, Medicine Bundle, celebrates woman loving woman's body. Listen to all of them if you want. There are only a few there so far. Thank you, Danielle Notaro: http://www.youtube.com/user/danpeak?feature=mhum

The myth of the Plus - Size model: Why the fight for the 'curvy girl' is really rather lightweight

There has been an influx of plus-size models gracing fashion magazines of late. The curvier girl is "in" and this must surely be applauded. Anything that goes against the cult of thin is fine by me.
But there's a catch, you see. Being a size 14 model is fine...As long as you're as tall as Michael Jordan. Have you noticed how very in proportion most "plus size" models look? The fact is, they're probably the right weight for their height, and it's the rake thin 6ft tall girls who should be called "minus size"(excepting those blessed with a superhuman metabolism). It's not a size 16 with a muffin top and "chub-rub" who will be fronting Marc Jacobs' new campaign. This size 16 will be a long and lean, amazonian figure with barely an inch of fat on her bones.
That's not to say that one must be tall to be deemed beautiful or acceptable by the fashion industry. Think of pint-sized Cheryl Cole, infamously petite Kylie, or most Holloywood actresses for that matter. All these women measure in around the five foot mark. But again, there is a catch: All these women are thin. As attested by the recent transformation of Kelly Osbourne from slightly chubby to borderline anorexic, short girls must be thin if they are to gain fashion kudos.
So there's your choice, ladies: either you can be short and thin, tall and fat(ter) or tall and thin. Short but not thin? You're having a laugh.
Considering that the average British woman is five foot three and wears a size 16, I would say the fashion industry has a long way to go before it can legitimately claim to represent 'real women'.

Dear Anybody,
it is encouraging to find you. I literally stumbled across you and am so excited i can't even begin to express it.
I live in Peru, land of the incas, machu pichu and so much discrimination one can barely believe self esteem exists. My father is peruvian, my mother is english. I look like them both, I'm lighter than my father and darker than my mother. When my sister and I visit our family in London we're described as the exotic cousins, exotically beautiful. In Peru we're just another regular dark and not so pretty girl. Peruvian aesthetics is based not only on body shape, small, slim and hardly any curves, but on the colour of your skin, ayes and hair. We loose every battle, every day, except on being small. Measuring less than a 1.60 m both my sister and I can be considered petite, our sizes though, are a different matter. I have a big breasts, my sister has a big bum, small sizes in T-shirts and hardly ever fit in a size small piece of clothing.
I have always thought my body was small but big, that it's size wasn't right for its height. My big thighs, my big breasts, my hips, my arms, I hated everything while I was teenager, the only thing I liked were my wrists for being the only bony part of my body. I went on to become an anthropologist and to specialize in gender and body related subjetcs. I realized that much of my body troubles were not only due to size and shape but due to colour also. That wide hips, large breasts and thighs simbolized sex and lower classes, this coming to the point where men have called me "slut" and "whore" ("perra" and "puta") just by walking down the street where I live, in a nice part of town. What is more shocking, is that I am accused for this unacceptable behaviour, surely I was wearing something revealing, that is not the point.
I have wished to be a ghost of my self, just skin and bone, no colour and no life. Self esteem seemed like a hopeless goal. But the more I get into this subject, the more I analyze it, the more I realize something is wrong. What my body probably means is not who I am and I am determined to let other people know it.
I don't diet, I hate gyms, I love chocolate, and I have decided I like my body just as it is, stretch marks included, it tells my story and that story is a fascinating one.
There isn't a woman I know who hasn't had an issue like mine, who can't find clothes in her size be it in bras, blouses or jeans, there isn't a woman i know who has decided not to go out because she feels too fat. They are all beautiful women, intelligent women, wonderful women. And all I can think is that this has to change.

Creams can help you for awhile, but nothing can beat the effects of a toxic body, and if your body isn't at it's peak then eventually it will show through your complexion by way of those nagging under eye circles, bags, wrinkles and lifeless skin.

When looking into an endless selection of beauty supplies, there are some things that you have to remember. Make sure that the product does not contain harmful ingredients. These include alcohol-based, petroleum-based, and chemically-based compounds. Look into the back label of the product to know its formulation. If you do not know the ingredient or it is hard for you to say it aloud, this implies that you have to search for another beauty item. There are several beauty products that are formulated with natural ingredients, those that are taken from natural herb extracts. Also, you can also obtain tips on how to make your own all-natural beauty product.

What about the fabulous ladies of the world who lack in the uh-- vertical stature?--- area??? I am 5 foot 3, 125 pounds, staggering between a size 2 and 4, but still feel uncomfortable about my body "type." You never see anyone under 5 ft 8 on the catwalk, at least it seems that way. Is there any hope for us too?????

Thank you very, very much Susie Orbach for writing the book "On eating". I suffered from anorexia at the age of fifteen until I was seventeen, and your book really helped me to overcome it slowly but surely. Now it has become a habit for me to eat when im hungry and to stop when full. And I'm better at recognizing and listening to feelings than I was before. I've reached a healthy weight too, and maintained it a year. All thanks to you!

Synne (from Norway)

I never had problems with weight...1.80 am tall and weighing 60 kg...at the age of 30 years

Hello! I'm really happy to have found this blog. As a new body acceptance/self esteem blogger, I'm trying to reach out to other bloggers. My blog focuses on skinny chicks. Why do skinny chicks need their own blog, when the media promotes their body type, you may ask? Because teenage girls of all shapes and sizes are prone to hating their bodies! I keep hearing skinny girls talking about how they hate being skinny, how they feel unattractive, etc and I hate it because I once felt like that. The grass is always greener on the other side for them! My blog focuses on making them feel happy as they are. I believe we have the same goal and I invite you to visit and drop me a line if you like.

Dear AnyBody,
I am 5'8", 120lbs-- B35 W24 H37. But I hate my body. I have been thin my entire life, but I still struggle with body image. I have battled eating disorders and severe depression. I apparently have a very pretty face, but I don't see it. It's lonely being "perfect". Women hate me, men only want me for my looks. I was molested as a child by not one, not two, but four different men. One told me if I told anyone about him, he'd cut off my nose. I believed him. I was six years old. That one liked to see me cry, so he often threatened to cut me with a knife. I still can't come to terms with the last two. I blame myself. I thought they were my boyfriends, because I thought that's what boyfriends did. I'm nervous posting this, even though you won't know who I am. It does feel good to tell someone about it though, even if it is online and anonymously. I just want other women to know that it's much harder to be "beautiful" than it is to be "normal". Ha, I'm sorry that I sound so morose... Thank You.

I have recently stopped dieting. For the first time since I started as a child. I hate how this makes me feel so scared, as if I would be letting go an old friend, a crutch of some kind, something that in my experience all women share. Saying "I'm not on a diet, I am not trying to lose weight" is really scary, and I hate that it's scary! When did dieting become the norm! I sure hope never to go back to a diet again.

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I really hate fat talk. What do you say to a friend who you KNOW isn't remotely fat, is in fact slimmer than you, when she says 'I wish I could lose weight'. 'I've been dieting and hungry for years', 'I'm still carrying baby weight'? I'm sympathetic to their feelings but don't want to play that game, it reinforces it - 'Oh you don't need to, you look great!' So you evade it, and confirm it in their eyes. Or patronize them by implying they're foolish. It's lose-lose.
And so boring.

I also can't stand it when people say 'every woman wants to lose weight/ has been on a diet'. I do not want to deny the widespread problem of pathological dieting, but some of us don't do this. Accepting this as a 'fact' of womanhood makes it sound like an obligation. Some of us have a 'normal' relationship with food, and enjoy it and admire our bodies, but the position is so rare it is 'abnormal'. There is so little room in this discourse to say that you enjoy food and don't worry about it, I think it must contribute to keeping women in this mindset.

Thin is in - if you have no mind of your own.

We all know that ‘thin is in’. Through movies, TV, adverts, magazines, billboards and the conventional side of the Internet, the media presents us with images of a world where 99 per cent of women wear their skin as near to their skeleton as they can get. Thin is beautiful. And so it is!

The reality is that we are a planet teeming with life. We are animals. We come in a variety of shapes and sizes and, thankfully, we also come programmed with what is essentially an uncontrollable sexual and aesthetic preference. For the sake of clarity if we ignore that, for most of us, attraction isn’t entirely physical, thin is beautiful to a percentage of the human population. What you don’t usually hear is that fat is beautiful to an equal number of people. And another group appreciates all the sizes in between fat and thin.
What we find beautiful is subjective. The media is trying its best to make it objective.

Why? Well, it makes a lot of money for a lot of businesses but we won’t go into that here.

The fact is, if you find fleshy men or women more attractive than the more slender type, there is actually not a thing you can do about it. You can pretend in order to fit in. You can try to persuade yourself that you don’t like the bigger look so that you can remain cool in your own eyes or through the eyes of your peers. Which is what a lot of people do. They deny it, again because of the media pressure to accept a received appreciation of beauty.

Just like if you’re gay and pretending to be straight, this will make you miserable. All efforts to live up to an image that is not mirrored with what you actually feel will create an unhappy life. Truth has an annoying way of foisting itself upon you.

Despite the overwhelming, in-yer-face coercion to take on a received idea of beauty, there are still many people out there who are intelligent and awake enough to prevent themselves from being anaesthetised by it. Happy and whole, who don’t feel they have to fit in or be cool or live in denial about what they are attracted to. Thank God for the Internet and the technology that means that we have a future where all voices can be heard.

I am not a member of the fat acceptance movement (although I accept fat and all other body shapes and sizes including the very thin). I am not saying that the compulsive overeating that causes the storage of fat on the body (for some) is something any of us would want to live with – because it is actually a very painful way to live. But the pressure to be what has lately become almost skeletal is one of the direct causes of compulsive overeating and other eating disorders.

Imagine how wonderful the world would become for all of us if everyone were truthful about what they find attractive. Imagine if movies and TV and magazines and adverts reflected reality. Look around you and wake up to the real world. Everyone is different. Everyone likes different.

Why passively receive a message that makes you unhappy when you can be free? There is nothing more exhilarating than thinking for yourself. Self reliance and self trust increase self esteem and this makes you happy. External dependency, trying to fit in and approval addiction decrease self esteem and will cause you nothing but misery and emptiness.

Low self esteem is closely linked to compulsive overeating. Think about that

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